It’s important to talk to people in their own language. If you do it well, they’ll say, “God, he said exactly what I was thinking.” And when they begin to respect you, they’ll follow you to the death
– Lee Iacocca
I often hear that public speaking is a projected conversation. It simply means that the very principles that govern one-on-one conversation and that of addressing a crowd are basically the same. The only difference is the number of people involve. I learned in one of my project speech in Toastmasters that there are four levels of communication. Let me share them to you.
it is possible that most of your public speaking assignment are within your organization or company. It may not be too difficult specially when your organization is already within your comfort zone. It is also equally possible that you will be invited outside your comfort zone.
How do you strike a conversation with a stranger? Let us answer this question by looking into the four levels of communication.
STEPS
1. Smalltalk. If we shall see communication as relationship, then we can consider small talk as our initial entry into a relationship. It is more of testing the water. Small talk is your tool to find whether you and the other person have something in common. Simple questions like the weather of the day may be a good start. When you are attending a convention, asking the other person of his role in the convention may also be a good start.
2. Fact disclosure. No, this phase does not mean that you have to share your CV. At this phase you may share simple facts with each other, but avoid getting personal. Simple questions like “Where do you work”, or “Are you also a Rotarian are asking for facts but not personal. You may share facts with each other until you feel that you can move on to the next phase.
3. Viewpoints and opinions. At this point, you might feel comfortable enough with each other to share your viewpoints and opinions. Build on the simple facts you talked about at the previous stage: “I enjoy working here.” At this phase, avoid sharing your views on personal and controversial topics, such as your religious beliefs, political opinions, or personal problems. I have observed that there are people/strangers who do not like to go through the first two level. They start in the third level a situation which scares most of us.
4. Personal feelings. It is only after you and the person with whom you are talking have gained considerable comfort and trust with each other that you can progress to this phase. At this point, you can talk about more personal facts and feelings than you have been able to before. Don’t expect to reach this level of intimacy with everyone you meet.
Observe that conversing with a stranger is a good model for the other kinds of communication. The four levels of communication shows how the build-up of trust is significant in moving from small talk to sharing of personal feelings.
We can also consider public speaking in the same manner. Effective communicators build a bond between them and the audiences in the beginning, develop their credibility in the middle, and call for action at the end of the speech.
TIPS
Your goal is not to go through the four levels of communication when you are conversing with people/strangers. Sometimes, reaching fact disclosure is enough. The pattern is not necessarily linear. It means that you can go back to small talk after giving opinions, then to fact disclosure, small talk again, before sharing again an opinion. Conversation is an attempt to build trust with the other person.
WORKSHOP: Conversing With Ease
1. Initiate a conversation with someone you don’t know. Apply the four levels of communication. Begin with small talk, then fact disclosure, sharing of opinions…and to sharing of feelings when possible. Write your observation below.
2. Do the same thing again with another person. Write your observation.
3. Apply the levels of communication in your next speech. Write your observation.
From: http://jefmenguin.wordpress.com/resources/converse-with-ease/
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