CELEBRATE YOU

If we live truly, we shall see truly—insist on yourself; never imitate—nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind, nothing can bring you peace but yourself, nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mentor once said that if we truly believe that we are sons and daughters of God, we need not fear. To stand up and share our experiences, thoughts, and aspirations is a gift to our listener.

I remember an International Speech contestant who said that every time we stop trying, “a piece of God dies in us… a piece of God dies in us.” Another great speaker said that if we want to fly, we must first come to the edge…jump, and then fly.

My experience as a classroom teacher taught me two valuable lessons. The first is that I cannot learn for my students. All I can do is to teach them. The second is that if they are not willing they will not learn. I can invite them to come to the edge, push them, but what happens afterward is their choice—either to fall downward or soar up high.

In this module, I will share some nuggets on improving self image and building self-confidence.

Improving Self-Image
People with positive self-esteem project images which conform to reality. They see themselves as they are, and have learned to work with their image. They radiate an aura of balance and psychological well-being, which makes them attractive to others.
If we feel that we have low self-esteem, we better correct the image we have of ourselves? Even if we get to acquire all those embellishments some people (speakers) wear, we cannot be truly effective unless we have a positive self-image.

Self-image is the mental image of the way we believe we are. The key word here is “believe”.
Where does this image come from? A self image is like a jigsaw puzzle – the individual pieces join together to form a whole. Just like jigsaw puzzles have two or three main types of pieces, identified by shape and color, the image we have of ourselves is composed of multiple pieces which fit into each other, and which can be grouped , generally speaking, into three categories:

Body image: This, obviously, is the image we have of our bodies, based on the signals our body sends us. Since our body is ultimately the only tangible, concrete and visible entity we possess upon which we can base our judgment, it is the primary influence on our self image.

Education: We are, to a great extent, the product of our education. I know of friends who cannot mention the name of their alma maters in social occasions. They see their schools as symbols of social status and therefore a measurement of their personality. Children who are suppressed and intimidated by parents or teachers will develop a strong tendency to underestimate themselves their whole life long, despite any personal successes they may achieve later on.

Interpersonal relations: We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others, especially during the first thirty years of our lives. Therefore, a good piece of advice if you want to be successful and attract the love and friendship of others: don’t surround yourself with people who are depressed, defeatist, pessimistic, overly dependent, or who complain all the time. Seek out the friendship of people who are positive, optimistic, happy and independent.

How to improve self-image? Below are few logical steps you can do to improve your self-image.
1.Free yourself from the past! Your negative self image is the result of precise causes, which go way back to your past. My mother told me I like to sing when I was young. Now, I only sing when I having my shower and no one is listening. I always trace it back to that time in high school when a music instructor embarrassed me in front of my class. Since then, no one can really force me to sing.
2.Dig deep – you may need a few days to run through your past and find out what’s bothering you. Dig deep, and include even minor details. You’ll be the only one ever to read this list, so don’t be afraid to include things that you’d never admit to anyone else, even under torture!
3.Forgive yourself. You cannot correct past mistakes by forever blaming yourself. Many of those mistakes are products of our immaturity. We are a different person now. Forgive yourself and move on.
4.Burn those negative images in your life. Turn a new leaf.

The steps above are easier than what you think they are. Those are just preliminary steps. It is important that we do something in the present for us to really change our on mental image. Observe the three powerful steps below.
1.Reprogram your life. We are a product of our habits. Our words and actions evolve through the years. You can start changing your self-image by changing your routine.
2.Greet the dawn. Start seeing each day as a new day and not simply as the continuation of the old one. Greet each day with anticipation.
3.Evaluate at night. Every night, assess your progress. See if you are successful with your goals. Praise every little success that you get because they are your tools which you can use for the next day.

TIPS:
• People who feel good about themselves tend to take good care of themselves and treat others with respect. (Louise Hart, The winning Family: Increasing Self-Esteem in Your Children and Yourself)
• If you find something that you don’t like about yourself, don’t fall into the trap of viewing your entire self through fault. The rest of you is still wonderful and growing.
• It is more important to ask oneself. “What is right with me?” than, “What is wrong with me?”

Warning: Changing our self image does not mean developing an inflated ego. On the contrary, what we’re trying to do is change our mental image, our own evaluation of ourselves – in other words the concept we have of your ego. We must not forget that our ego is, and always will be, what it was to start out with. What we have to change in order to succeed in life and win the support of others is the erroneous and undervalued image we have of ourselves.
Before we do the workshop, I do suggest that you read Og Mandino’s THE GREATEST MIRACLE .
WORKSHOP: IMPROVING SELF-IMAGE

ERASING NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE
1. List the things you don’t like about yourself and the reasons you blame yourself the way you are.

2. Dig deeper. For the next two weeks continue collecting those things you don’t like about yourself. Being aware of the causes that tarnish your self-image is significant.

3. After completing the list, find the reason why you have to forgive yourself. For each negative image, write your reasons why you are forgiving yourself. Example: I forgive myself for making a fool of myself during our cultural presentation. I was nervous and I was young then.

4. Write down the negative images. Burn them. Or if you don’t like burning, tear them. This is important. In a symbolic way, you are committing yourself to forget those negative images, and move on to a new day.

BUILDING A NEW POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE
1. List down your routine. Change your routine. Do these new routine for the next two weeks. Again, this is important. Our habits being product of everything that surrounds our life, merely changing our routine can definitely help us.

2. Greet each morning with anticipation of a new day. List down ways on how you intend to make this day even more beautiful. (You may also use Og Mandino’s I Will Greet This Day).

3. Each night, evaluate your progress. Praise those little successes that you achieve. Write them here.